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Gene Royer

Gene Royer is a staunch conservative. He is also a Policy Governance ® consultant and writer. He is the author of School Board Leadership 2000 - The Things Staff Didn't Tell You At Orientation and his international practice is based in Houston



    WONDERFUL DAY IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD
    by Gene Royer


    August 10, 2003

    My neighbor Dr. Jasham Ikubbi is a second-generation American whose parents immigrated from one of the emerging African nations. He attended a minor American university and was not a project of Affirmative Action--in that his secondary school grades were superior, and his parents were legal immigrants who paid his full tuition.

    He is very successful, lives in a big house a few blocks from me, and drives a new, top-of-the-line Lexus. A few days ago as I was trimming limbs, he drove by and stopped his car to chat. From ten feet away, he extended his hand and held it out like a lance as he approached. I took the cue and extended my own, as I stepped toward him and accepted his wide, toothy grin of friendship.

    He said he had a story to tell me, and I will relate it as modestly as my humble way will allow.

    He specializes in Urology; and for five years he labored as a regular staff member in a co-op of specialists near the Houston Medical Center. But three years ago he decided to leave the group and strike out on his own. His expertise is the treatment of erectile dysfunction in middle age men; and in spite of the commonness of that malady, his schedule was seldom full. No matter how much advertising he did or how often he appeared on local talk shows to discuss the problem, his patient list never grew.

    But then one day a very fortuitous thing happened to him: He met me.

    It was at a seminar of medical managers where I was invited to speak. Afterward, we met, and I asked him what his specialty was. When he said "Erectile Dysfunction", I winced, and he instinctively chuckled.

    "Men always do that," he said. "Many men suffer from it, but few are willing to come for treatment. They are hesitant to admit a weakness in their manhood. They think it's because of their hormones, but it's not."

    "Uh-huh."

    He went on to explain that contrary to popular belief, erectile dysfunction is caused less by low hormone levels, and more by insufficient blood circulation in the lower torso and into the penis.

    "Uh-huh."

    "In most cases," he said, "it has nothing to do with their testosterone."

    "Uh-huh."

    After quickly assuring him that I was not among that number of sufferers, I suggested he try a new approach.

    "The problem is that you need to stop calling it Erectile Dysfunction, for God's sake. Why, even the utterance of that term makes mine go down like the flag at sunset. So, don't refer to it as a dysfunction because nobody will admit not being able to function. Stop calling it that, and start referring to it as something else. --Something less threatening to men."

    "Like what?"

    "Oh, I don't know. Instead of calling it a dysfunction, refer to it as a treatable medical condition, which it is--same as high cholesterol, for example. Hell, anybody can have that, even women."

    So, that was the gist of his story. He took my advice and began saying that he specializes in the reestablishment of normal, lower-torso blood flow in sexually active males, toward the restoration of manly sexual vigor. He goes on to say that this is a normal condition brought on by the stress and lifestyle of modern 21st-Century America.

    "My business has tripled," he said. "And half my patients are African American men who were too embarrassed to come in before. It's a cultural thing, you know."

    "Yes, some men are so insecure."

    He agreed. "We treat them by prescribing a number of things, including lowering their desk chair an inch or so in order to deliver more bodyweight to their feet instead of their butt where it can bind them in the stride of their pants and restrict blood flow."

    "Uh-huh."

    "We might also recommend a light regimen of walking and deep knee bends to stimulated circulation. And a dietary change, of course."

    "Uh-huh."

    "If minor surgery is needed to relieve a constricted artery, it's an easy procedure that we do in the office. They go home a new man."

    "Uh-huh. Do you ever prescribe testosterone?"

    "It never hurts."

    ©Gene Royer Houston TX 2003




    © 2003 Tocqevillian Magazine