Robert Baker comes from a Midwestern farm family. He love books
and enjoys the pursuit of knowledge. He likes to make his family
laugh. Bob embraces what Russell Kirk called the "permanent
"I value my faith above riches and my word is my bond.
Of course I am a technophile. If it hums, glows, or blinks I want
it, especially if it computes."
Just My Take
by Robert Baker
Just My Take
RBN Entertainment Division
WesStar Throws Down the Gauntlet: Rush Limbaugh Era
CHICAGO In a press conference earlier today WesStar Communications,
headquartered in Chicago, presented a new talk-radio syndication
star to the national media. In an announcement that sent tremors
through the talk-radio universe, WesStar introduced their answer
to Rush Limbaugh, the talk-show juggernaut of daytime radio.
The Rush Limbaugh Era is over, said Roman Fiedler,
CEO of WesStar. We have just signed Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf,
the former Minister of Information in Iraq, to a two year contract.
Fiedler went on to outline the particulars of the new program
to be syndicated in 300 radio markets in the US and Canada.
In most of our 300 markets MSS will be head-to-head with
Limbaugh, he said. The program will also air on
a delayed basis in the Middle East. Our flagship station here
in Chicago will produce and originate the program.
As you may know, WesStar Communications supplies program
content primarily to radio stations affiliated with National
Public Radio. Due to the non-profit nature of these stations
there will be no immediate pressure to be a commercial success.
This will allow MSS to build his audience without sacrificing
content and quality. We are taking direct aim at the conservative
dominance of talk-radio. As MSS has said more than once in our
negotiations, I intend to smart bomb Mr. Limbow.
We anticipate that the program will be a commercial success
by the end of the first year.
The program will air from noon to 3pm Eastern time, Monday
through Friday. The format will include monologues and interviews
with important figures in politics, culture, and the arts. The
Democratic National Committee and Hollywood have both indicated
strong support. We expect them to have significant input into
program content. It will be liberal in philosophy but will be
fair to conservative views. Political positions that are now
effectively shut out will see the light of day. We think our
audience, when it has all the facts, will support us. Now I
would like to introduce our newest star, Mr. Al-Sahhaf. He will
be available to answer a few questions.
MSS: Thank you Roman. First I would like to express how delighted
I am to be here. It presents a wonderful opportunity to get
to know the American people better. I have been told there are
a great many Americans who do not choose to enforce their opinions
at the point of a gun. I look forward to meeting such people.
Let me add that because of the difficulty of pronouncing my
name I have adopted a new name for my American and Canadian
audience. You may refer to me as Mosas. I will take a few questions.
RBN: Sir, how are you qualified to host a talk-radio program?
MSS: I have been, for many years, a spokesman for the Iraqi
government. I have extensive experience talking to people about
political and government matters. I expect to do well. Next.
CNN: Sir, do you expect a difficult adjustment to life in a
democratic and free society?
MSS: Oh my good friend, so nice to see you once again. Such
wonderful memories we share. Please carry greetings to our good
friend, Mr. Jordan. CNN has been such a great friend to the
Iraqi people for many years. But to your question, I will be
broadcasting from Chicago, America so I dont have an answer
to your question. I should think that life under President Bush
would be similar to my life in Iraq. To taste a democratic culture
would require that I live in France or, perhaps, Canada. I hope
that my program will lead to democratic changes in your 2004
elections so that you also will have the opportunity to adjust
to a democratic and free society.
CBC: Sir, the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation. Thank you for
your compliment to my country. What will your program be called?
MSS: The program will be called The Mosas Shows Us Program.
I intend to guide my audience toward the truth.
FOX: Sir, FOX News. There are several reports that Mohammed
Saeed al-Sahhaf committed suicide after the fall of Baghdad.
How do you respond to these rumors?
MSS: Sir, they are mistaken. I believe those reports were picked
up from Iranian newspapers. You must learn to put your facts
in context. Of course, for security reasons, all prominent members
of the Iraqi government were given doubles. I could be his double
couldnt I? What is it you FOX people say? Oh yes, I report,
you decide. HaHa. Next.
EIB: Sir, the EIB network. Do you know Rush Limbaugh and do
you have a strategy to compete against him?
MSS: Everyone in the Middle East knows Mr. Limbow. I have never
met him but I can tell you he disgusts me. We have an Arabic
expression in Iraq. God will burn his belly in hell.
He is lying every day. He is lying always. The Mosas Shows Us
Program will defeat him. He will commit suicide at the gates
of Chicago. He is a Zionist infidel doing the bidding of the
dictator, Bush. I step on him and his program. He will be as
dead grass before my program. (Pause) As for strategy, Arab
wit is sharp as the sword of Allah. My sword will cut open his
lying belly. His entrails will be open before the sun. America
will hate him and his lying belly. I will simply tell the truth.
After all, that is how I got this job.
Reaction to the news has been pouring in. Several public figures
have expressed delight. Martha Burke of the National Council
of Womens Organizations, commented, We are thrilled
with the news. We have a list of serious womens issues.
We have asked Mr. Saeed for his positions. Early indications
are that he strongly supports the admission of women to membership
in the Augusta National Golf Club. It is a litmus test. We eagerly
await his radio debut.
Alan Colmes of FOX News had a mixed reaction. I think
recent events may have tainted his credibility but time will
tell. I support the truth from whatever source.
Al Franken was lukewarm to the idea. Before the Iraq war
I had been in negotiations with WesStar to syndicate a radio
program. Fat Limbaugh is a formidable opponent. I probably had
the best chance to bring him down. I know him like a book.
Franken is a comedian, pundit, and author of a best-selling
book about Rush Limbaugh.
Rush Limbaugh released the following statement. I look
forward to the competition. There is nothing more American than
a head-to-head, toe-to-toe contest for the hearts and minds
of America. I shall engage Mr. Saeed with the principles of
the conservative philosophy. I will shine the light of truth
on liberalism. I shall tie half my brain behind my back. Like
the Iraq war it will be a cakewalk.
2003 Tocqevillian Magazine